It is being said that how bad or how well children go through the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. And believe me when I tell you that there is an appropriate divorce parenting practices for children of any age for them to be healthy, happy and successful despite you’re divorce. It simple means that divorced parents can raise healthy, happy and successful children. Here, in this article, we will focus on the best appropriate divorce parenting practices for school-age children.
First, you need to understand how school-age children react to divorce. Knowing how school-age children react to divorce will bring you to a better position of knowing the best appropriate divorce parenting practices you can do for your child. So, how is school-age children affected by divorce?
School-age children are old enough to understand that they are in pain because of their parents’ separation. They are too young, however, to understand or to control their reactions to this pain. They may experience grief, embarrassment, resentment, divided loyalty and intense anger.
Elementary school children begin to understand that divorce means their parents will no longer be married and live together, and that their parents no longer love each other.
Children worries about the future. They fear nobody will be there to pick him/her up from school and take care of them. It is common for them to ignore school and friendships.
Children also become aware of their parents as individuals, often fear the loss of parents, and feel sadness and anger because of their parents’ divorce or separation. Self-blame, depression, and attempts to reunite parents are not uncommon in this age group.
Knowing how school-age children reach to divorce, I’m sure by now ideas flow into your mind on what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for school-age children. To add up to your list of ideas, here below are some divorce parenting practices that is best for your child.
- Explain what is happening over and over again. Children this age are confused easily. In simple terms, explain where your child will live, with whom, where the departing parent will live, and who will provide care when both parents are unavailable.
- Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Be sensitive to children’s fears. Let your child know that he or she can openly talk to you about the ups and downs of your separation or divorce.
- Read books together about children and divorce. Use books to help your child talk about feelings.
- Answer all questions about the changes, and keep lines of communication open. Make sure your child feels like he or she can ask you questions and get answers about why the divorce happened and what to expect.
- Plan special time together. Set aside special time to spend with your child but be careful not to make promises you may not be able to keep.
- Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for the divorce. Children need to be reassured that the breakup wasn’t their fault.
- Reassure children of how their needs will be met and of who will take care of them.
- Reassure children that everything will be ok, just different. Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. It’s a threat to their security. Provide extra hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults will always be near to love and protect
- Talk to your child’s day-care provider about the divorce. She will better understand your child’s possible regressive behaviors and will likely offer extra support.
- Talk to your child’s teachers or school counselors about the divorce. They may then better understand possible learning or behavioral problems and will likely offer extra support.
- Keep daily routines intact. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. Stick with bedtimes, no matter at which home the children are. Have some consistent chores. Have some time committed to the child, which is treated as sacred.
- Respect, but monitor, your child’s privacy.
- Discourage reconciliation fantasies. Avoid dinners, outings, or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse; they only fuel your child’s fantasies. Instead, emphasize the finality of divorce
- Be sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seek professional help if depression is prolonged or intense.
- Help non-custodial parent stay involve. Let non-custodial parent maintain a regular presence such as a phone call several times each week, messages sent on video or audiotapes.
- Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their other parent. Be supportive of children’s ongoing relationship with the other parent. Remember that children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents. If you have difficulty relating to your former spouse then get your free copy of my ebook “8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce.” Just visit my website and get the said ebook for free.
You can learn more divorce parenting practices appropriate for children of any age in my ebook “101 Ways To Raise ‘Divorced’ Children to Successfully.” This ebook is a divorce parenting guide that offers many proven ways that will not only help you help your children but will also guide you on how to deal with yourself and your former ex-spouse for your children’s sake. Thus, giving you complete information on how to raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you’re divorced. For more information, please visit my website.
With the above information, I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you’re divorce.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
About The Author
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled “101 Ways To Raise Your ‘Divorced’ Children To Success”. Get his other ebook for FREE, “8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce.” Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com. firstname.lastname@example.org