Bury Your Wedding Ring, Win $1,000!
A while back I wrote about an interesting new product called the Wedding Ring Coffin.
Now, the company is having a video contest and wants you to to participate by creating a video that demonstrates what the Wedding Ring Coffin means to you. Did you purchase a WRC? What did you do with it? Did you have a memorial service? A divorce party? Did you bury your WRC? Your video can be funny or serious, happy or sad, you decide… and the winner will earn 1,000 bucks!
THE DEADLINE FOR VIDEO ENTRIES IS APRIL 7, 2008.
Here’s how to enter:
1. Create a video showing what the Wedding Ring Coffin means to you. Videos should be no more than 2 minutes and include the Wedding Ring Coffin. No purchase is necessary. There are some images available on our website’s Media page at http://www.weddingringcoffin.com/Media .
2. Upload your video to YouTube. You will need to have a YouTube account and ID. Join our group located at http://www.youtube.com/group/weddingr… , then upload your video.
3. Read the Official Rules, http://www.weddingringcoffin.com/vide… ,and complete the registration form on our Video Contest page, http://www.weddingringcoffin.com/vide… .
Good luck and I look forward to seeing your videos!
Merry Christmas from Darn Divorce!
Divorce: Bad for the Environment
By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
Divorce isn’t green, says a study being published today.
The research, led by ecologist Jianguo “Jack” Liu, a Michigan State University professor of fisheries and wildlife, looked at international data comparing utility consumption and housing space per capita in married and divorced households. He found that divorce creates more households with fewer people, using more energy and water and taking up more space.
The analysis, published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, does not look at the environmental impact of singles who have never been married, but Liu says he plans to look at singles in a subsequent study.
“If you have more households as a result of divorce, then you would need more housing units, and if you need to build more houses or apartments, that means you need more land, and that will contribute to urban sprawl,” he says.
Others familiar with such issues caution that the divorce link to the environment is a bit of a stretch.
While divorce leads to smaller household size on average for a population, “it’s not just divorce,” says social demographer Ronald Rindfuss of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, who has studied the relationship between population and the environment for more than a decade.
“There’s a whole variety of factors that have been leading to people living in dwelling units containing smaller units of people. Divorce is just one.”
Matt Golden, founder of San Francisco home energy audit company Sustainable Spaces, says overall household space is increasing while occupancy is shrinking.
Liu acknowledges that not all people who divorce create two households; some move into existing households with friends or relatives. But the data he analyzed considered only those in which the divorced person was a head of household.
This analysis also did not compare married and divorced households with other types, such as cohabiting or those living alone. The aim was comparing married with divorced, he says.
“Environmental impacts of divorce and other lifestyles such as separation should be considered when making personal choices,” the report says.
Liu says it took four years to analyze the stats, which include international census data from the 2000 Integrated Public Use Microdata in 12 countries; data from 1970-2001 from the USA, Greece and Ecuador; and the Panel Study of Income Dynamics, a sample of 3,283 U.S. households from 2001 to 2005.
So what about options such as communes, where more people live under one roof?
“That’s one possibility for people to consider,” Liu says.
Man Divorces Wife for Lying about her Age
The court granted a divorce to a man who claims his wife lied to him about her age.
She said she was 24-years old before they got married.
After they got hitched, however, she ‘fessed up to really being 30-years old.
Darn Asian girls. Even the locals can’t tell how old they are.
A little slow on the intake, though, it took the man 10 years to figure out she wasn’t being straight with him.
Oh well, at least now she can lie about being divorced at 34 (which is waaay much better than being divorced at 40…)
Famous Last Words: Bruce Willis’s One Big Happy Family
“He said, ‘Dude, you’ve got to do whatever it takes to get the kids and all the spouses or the girlfriend together. You’ve got to show your kids it’s okay.’ It was like a light went on. Ding.”
- Bruce Willis credits Will Smith for helping him to become friends with his ex-wife’s husband, Ashton Kutcher.
Darn Divorce Celebrates 100,000 Pageviews!!!
Quick, somebody bake a cake!
It’s Game On For Family Lawyers
When Jasmin Watson talks about her divorce, she sounds tired and a little frustrated. Mostly, though, she’s concerned about how her children—ages 9, 11 and 12—are holding up. They’re doing better, she says, thanks in part to a package that arrived in the mail from her attorney.
Inside was a video game called Earthquake in Zipland, a research-based video game designed to help school-age children cope with divorce. Family lawyer Lee Rosen, whose firm is handling Watson’s divorce, discovered the game’s Web site last fall while surfing the Internet for resources to help clients of his Raleigh, N.C.-based firm. After playing the game with his own kids, he ordered three dozen or so to give out to clients.
“We used to hand out books, but if you hand a kid a book, they know what you’re up to,” says Rosen, whose three offices handle about 700 divorces a year. “With a video game, it’s something to play with and it engages kids, especially boys.”
And what he’s hearing back from his clients is that the game is working. “There’s just not anything like it that facilitates conversations,” Rosen says. Watson says she’s noticed a change since her kids started playing the game, especially with her youngest. “She asks questions now. I don’t know if that’s just because of the game, but they all definitely got into it—they thought it was challenging, and my kids love a challenge.”
In the game, a superhero named Moose must repair his country after an earthquake has caused upheaval and chaos. As kids play through, they must perform certain tasks, including writing in an online journal, to keep moving to higher levels. Using the earthquake as a metaphor for their life, children learn that “even a superhero can’t put everything together exactly the way it was before,” says Hank Shrier, who directs marketing for the game’s makers, Jerusalem-based Zipland Interactive. (Click here to see clips of the game.)
The Rosen Law Firm was one of the first firms to order the game, says Zipland president and family therapist Chaya Harash. She hopes more will follow, especially based on the warm reception she received from both lawyers and judges when she presented the game at the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts conference in Washington, D.C., this past summer.
But Rosen says the game wasn’t an instant hit with the 11 other lawyers in his firm. “We basically handed it out to them and said, ‘You can give these to people if you’d like to,’ but largely they did nothing with them.” When Rosen demonstrated the game at a staff meeting, though, it clicked.
Rosen says the game doesn’t just help clients; it creates good will for the firm, too. “Clients are used to lawyers taking their money, but they’re not used to getting something, and when you give them a gift that also benefits their children, that’s something exponentially more powerful.”
That’s certainly reflected in Watson’s reaction when she received the game. “I was like, ‘Me? You thought of me?’ ” she recalls. “It made me feel like I wasn’t just another person—[that my lawyer] thought of me out of all those clients. It made me feel a little more important.”
Web Extra: Clips from Earthquake in Zipland
What Divorce Parenting Practices are Most Appropriate for School-Age Children?
It is being said that how bad or how well children go through the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. And believe me when I tell you that there is an appropriate divorce parenting practices for children of any age for them to be healthy, happy and successful despite you’re divorce. It simple means that divorced parents can raise healthy, happy and successful children. Here, in this article, we will focus on the best appropriate divorce parenting practices for school-age children.
First, you need to understand how school-age children react to divorce. Knowing how school-age children react to divorce will bring you to a better position of knowing the best appropriate divorce parenting practices you can do for your child. So, how is school-age children affected by divorce?
School-age children are old enough to understand that they are in pain because of their parents’ separation. They are too young, however, to understand or to control their reactions to this pain. They may experience grief, embarrassment, resentment, divided loyalty and intense anger.
Elementary school children begin to understand that divorce means their parents will no longer be married and live together, and that their parents no longer love each other.
Children worries about the future. They fear nobody will be there to pick him/her up from school and take care of them. It is common for them to ignore school and friendships.
Children also become aware of their parents as individuals, often fear the loss of parents, and feel sadness and anger because of their parents’ divorce or separation. Self-blame, depression, and attempts to reunite parents are not uncommon in this age group.
Knowing how school-age children reach to divorce, I’m sure by now ideas flow into your mind on what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate for school-age children. To add up to your list of ideas, here below are some divorce parenting practices that is best for your child.
- Explain what is happening over and over again. Children this age are confused easily. In simple terms, explain where your child will live, with whom, where the departing parent will live, and who will provide care when both parents are unavailable.
- Encourage your child to talk about how he/she feels. Be sensitive to children’s fears. Let your child know that he or she can openly talk to you about the ups and downs of your separation or divorce.
- Read books together about children and divorce. Use books to help your child talk about feelings.
- Answer all questions about the changes, and keep lines of communication open. Make sure your child feels like he or she can ask you questions and get answers about why the divorce happened and what to expect.
- Plan special time together. Set aside special time to spend with your child but be careful not to make promises you may not be able to keep.
- Repeatedly tell children that they are not responsible for the divorce. Children need to be reassured that the breakup wasn’t their fault.
- Reassure children of how their needs will be met and of who will take care of them.
- Reassure children that everything will be ok, just different. Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. It’s a threat to their security. Provide extra hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults will always be near to love and protect
- Talk to your child’s day-care provider about the divorce. She will better understand your child’s possible regressive behaviors and will likely offer extra support.
- Talk to your child’s teachers or school counselors about the divorce. They may then better understand possible learning or behavioral problems and will likely offer extra support.
- Keep daily routines intact. Children feel more secure when there is a standard routine. Stick with bedtimes, no matter at which home the children are. Have some consistent chores. Have some time committed to the child, which is treated as sacred.
- Respect, but monitor, your child’s privacy.
- Discourage reconciliation fantasies. Avoid dinners, outings, or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse; they only fuel your child’s fantasies. Instead, emphasize the finality of divorce
- Be sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seek professional help if depression is prolonged or intense.
- Help non-custodial parent stay involve. Let non-custodial parent maintain a regular presence such as a phone call several times each week, messages sent on video or audiotapes.
- Plan a schedule of time for children to spend with their other parent. Be supportive of children’s ongoing relationship with the other parent. Remember that children generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing involvement of both parents. If you have difficulty relating to your former spouse then get your free copy of my ebook “8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce.” Just visit my website and get the said ebook for free.
You can learn more divorce parenting practices appropriate for children of any age in my ebook “101 Ways To Raise ‘Divorced’ Children to Successfully.” This ebook is a divorce parenting guide that offers many proven ways that will not only help you help your children but will also guide you on how to deal with yourself and your former ex-spouse for your children’s sake. Thus, giving you complete information on how to raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you’re divorced. For more information, please visit my website.
With the above information, I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you’re divorce.
Copyright by Ruben Francia. All Rights Reserved.
About The Author
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting guide ebook, entitled “101 Ways To Raise Your ‘Divorced’ Children To Success”. Get his other ebook for FREE, “8 Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce.” Visit his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com. support@101divorceparenting.com
Ten Ways To Help Children Through Divorce
By Ed Sherman
Going through a divorce is no fun for anyone, but children are especially vulnerable. Divorce specialist attorney Ed Sherman reveals in his book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better, the following 10 things you can do to make a big difference in how well your children survive.1. Tell children the truth in simple terms with simple explanations. Tell them where their other parent has gone.
2. Reassure them that they will continue to be taken care of and that they will be safe and secure.
3. Your children will see that parents can stop loving each other. Reassure them that a parent’s love for a child is a special kind that never stops.
4. Spend time with each child individually. Whether you have custody or visitation, the most important thing to the child is your individual relationship with him or her. Build the best relationship you can. The future is built of many tiny moments.
5. Children feel responsible for causing the divorce. Reassure them that they are not to blame. They may also feel that it is their responsibility to bring their parents back together. Let them know your decision is final and will have to be accepted.
6. Divorcing parents often feel guilty and become overindulgent. Give your child love, but also give limits.
7. Your child is still a child and can’t become the man of the house or a little mother. Continue to be the parent to your child. Seek other adults to fill your own need for companionship.
8. Avoid situations that place a child in the impossible position of choosing between parents:
* Don’t use your child as a way to get back at your spouse. Children can be terribly wounded this way.
* Don’t say bad things about the other parent in hearing of a child.
* Don’t say or do anything that might discourage the child from spending time with the other parent.
* Don’t encourage a child to take sides.
9. You and your former spouse will continue to be the parents of your children for life. Pledge to cooperate responsibly toward the growth and development of your children as an expression of your mutual love for them.
10. Be patient and understanding with your children. Be patient and understanding with yourself.
Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, cooperating with your spouse during your divorce is one of the best things you can do for your children. They learn that conflicts can be resolved eventually, which is a valuable lesson.
About The Author
Ed Sherman is a divorce specialist attorney and award-winning author of How to Do Your Own Divorce in California. His books and software have saved millions of people billions of dollars in unnecessary attorney fees. Visit http://www.nolotech.com/
How Will My Divorce Affect My Credit?
A very good overview of some of the credit issues in divorce:
Ask The Advisor: How Will My Divorce Affect My Credit?
by Jimmy Atkinson, Ask The Advisor
In the unfortunate event that you get a divorce, worrying about your credit score may be the last thing on your mind. However, even during the most trying times of our lives, the world keeps spinning and the fact is, divorce can greatly impact your finances and credit history. If you are seeking or have finalized a divorce, it is time to assess what needs to be done to preserve or restore your financial reputation. Below, we will explain how divorce can affect your credit, as well as what you should do before and after your separation.
Divorce and Your Credit
You should know the ugly truth first: even the most amicable divorce can leave you in financial ruin. In the course of your marriage, you most likely merged all of your finances, from your bank accounts to ownership of property. A majority of marriages also have one partner who takes most of the responsibility when it comes to paying bills, which inadvertently leaves the other person in the dark about a lot of things. All of these arrangements, once just a common aspect of a committed relationship, contribute to credit problems upon separation.
When you get a divorce, it is your marriage that is ending and not your shared financial responsibilities. Even if your spouse accumulated some debt without your knowledge during the marriage, you may be held responsible for it after the divorce. That is, of course, if you don’t take the proper actions and sever all financial ties with your ex (excluding any child or spousal support, of course). This doesn’t have to be as nasty as it sounds, either. In fact, most divorcees are pretty eager to get on with their lives, rather than dragging out the affair with bitter opposition. Not all divorces are as heated as the ones you see on television. However, even if your partner is being reasonable about things, it doesn’t mean that creditors will show the same cooperation. That is why the ties must be severed sooner rather than later.
Protecting Your Finances Before the Divorce
While you may not want to think about money when you are experiencing a traumatic life change such as divorce, being practical may save you from even more heartache down the road. The best way to keep your credit safe from divorce is to start making changes as soon as the two of you decide to separate. The following steps should be taken:
Assess Your Responsibilities — You need to be aware of all the accounts you are responsible for, including bank accounts, mortgage loans, credit cards and utilities. Even if you and your spouse have decided who gets what property, you need to make sure that the right person is solely responsible for their respective belongings.
Dissolve All Joint Accounts — Rather than trying to divvy up what is owed on your joint accounts and asking your ex to honor their half, you should remove the right person’s name from the accounts or cancel them completely. Make sure the both of you do the canceling together, legally. The first place to start is the bank, as most couples share checking and/or savings accounts when they are married. Also, if you are taking possession of one car with both of your names on the note, have your spouse’s name removed. Make sure that your spouse does the same thing with any property they take. (If you are still paying for any of this property, then you may have to refinance to get the loan down to one name.) Any bills you paid together, such as your utilities, should be put in one name. As for credit cards, you can try to work with the credit card company and have them transfer half of the balance to two different accounts in anticipation of the divorce.
Sell the House — A common mistake that people make is giving their house to their spouse after the divorce. This may be due to abandonment or perhaps a well-intentioned arrangement because there are children involved. However, the best thing to do is to sell the house together and divide the profit. After all, no one can predict the future. Countless divorcees have found their credit ruined because their ex let their house go into foreclosure. Explaining to creditors that you are now divorced won’t make you any less responsible for a mortgage with your name on it.
Divide Any and All Shared Cash — In the process of allocating debt, canceling accounts and selling property, you and your spouse will probably be left with some liquid assets. You should, perhaps with the assistance of your divorce lawyers, fairly divide that cash before you walk out of each other’s lives. This is the legal, sensible and ethical thing to do.
Document Everything — Once the courts become involved and your divorce is finally underway, make sure that all of your financial arrangements and agreements are documented. That way, if there are any discrepancies down the road (such as a creditor bugging you about your ex’s car payments), you can refer anyone to your official court records. While this may not be a surefire way to get a collector off of your back in a timely manner, you will have the law on your side and the means to protect or restore your credit.
Saving Your Credit After the Divorce
Hindsight is always 20/20 and many people get a divorce without preparing their finances beforehand. This is understandable, as it may be hard to set aside emotions long enough to get everything in order. However, not doing so can result in serious issues with your credit score. If you have already finalized your divorce and are now being held responsible for your former spouse’s debts, make sure you do the following.
Check Your Credit Score — This is something you should do at least once a year, but it is especially important after major life events. By checking your credit score you can see if your credit has been adversely affected by your divorce. It will also show if there are any debts that you used to share with your spouse that are now being neglected. This will point you in the right direction when it comes time to cancel any joint accounts.
Separate/Cancel All Joint Accounts — Even if you ended your divorce on very bad terms, you simply must have a sit-down with your ex. Any and all accounts, debts and property that you still share should be separated, canceled or sold. In other words, you must separate your finances like you have separated your relationship. This can be most easily accomplished with your former spouse’s help. If he/she won’t help, it is time to call your lawyer. Either way, your financial ties must be severed.
Notify Creditors of Your Divorce — Once you have separated/canceled all of your joint accounts/debts, you are no longer legally bound to your former spouse’s current debts. Call all of the creditors who have been bothering you and alert them to this fact. In a perfect world, they would apologize for the inconvenience and never call you again. However, it may take awhile before such calls cease entirely. In addition to notifying the proper collectors, you should right a letter to them as well. That will help them to expedite their file updates.
Divorce is an ugly thing, no matter how it is carried out. The end of a marriage is a traumatic event that is only compounded by high court costs and possible credit problems after everything has settled. If you are thinking about divorce, follow the proper steps in separating you and your spouse’s finances. Otherwise, your credit score may plummet until everything is in order. The modern world revolves around credit, so a low credit score can have a devastating effect on your life. By taking the measures listed above, you can avoid any further distress than divorce has already caused you.
