How to Handle Post-Divorce Tweeting: Beware Of the Bitter Twitters

by Deb Mecklinger

Use the following tips to maintain grace, save face and keep your divorce out of cyberspace. When it comes to divorce, DO NOT use Twitter to:

1)  Break News: Don’t break your story with a Tweet. Instead, speak.

2)  Spread News: Be discreet and keep your story in house. This is not the time to build an audience or extend your audience.

3)  Find followers: Don’t use social networking to support your position.

4)  Gather Information: Don’t conduct public opinion polls about your soon-to-be-ex-spouse.

5)  Speed-link: Don’t use Twitter to enter your Ex’s world or infringe on his/her boundaries, friendships or connections.

6)  Vent: Don’t be a twit and share your snit or have a twit-fit about your Ex.

7)  Build Your Brand: Create your newfound image off-line. Don’t be a hitter via Twitter in the midst of divorce. Be elegant and develop your new psyche and persona out of the public domain.

8)  Follow a Twitter Divorce Leader: If your ex-spouse is tweeting about you, don’t be a Twitter Copycat.

9)  Set The Record Straight: A single tweet will live forever. Watch it show up in affidavits, court documents and in the hands of friends, family, co-workers, children and the world at large.

10) Noise making: Don’t get sidetracked by Twitter chaos. In the midst of divorce the multitude of messages can be confusing and overwhelming. Keep it simple and stay focused.  Leave Twitter for later.

When it comes to conversation, promotion, and networking, Twitter is King. When it comes to Divorce, discretion, respect and privacy are fighting to reign supreme. While Twitter is fun, engaging and quickly replacing daily conversation, divorce is a process that requires mindfulness and intentionality when communicating and sharing. The temptation to use Twitter in ways that may result in unwanted consequences is particularly seductive for the separating spouse whose self-management skills may be compromised by the divorce process. To ward off the opportunity to Tweet down the wrong street, put Twitter on hold until your Divorce process folds.        

Deborah Mecklinger, LL.B., M.S.W., A.T.C.

Divorce Coach


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To follow-up on this post, it may make it easier to get a sense of how long the process could take.
This is one one of the most common questions, but also hardest to answer. In general, if a settlement is reached on all issues after submission to the Court for approval, the process can take 2 to 3 months. If you are unable to reach a settlement, the amount of time it takes to prepare you case for further settlement discussions or trial can take anywhere from several months to a year, or longer. The fact is, however that settlement can occur at any time, even when there is opposition among the parties, before the trial where the parties remain open to compromise.

Yeah - what people do on social network websites should have no bearing or be relevant in court. It’s pathetic because people constantly make stuff up on their social sites, just to release and vent, but they don’t really mean what they’re typing.

It’s not only Twitter divorcees should be concerned with. Any form of electronic communication such as e-mail, MySpace, Facebook, blogs, etc should be kept clean of bitterness and petty ugliness.

This was such a good article. You can not take back a Tweet and you may not show up in the best light if you air your story. I hope that many women see this. I really like your blog.

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