Courtesy of Dr. Reena Sommer
Finding out that your spouse has cheated on you usually comes as a huge surprise and shock. In fact, most people are caught completely off guard when they discover that their spouse is having an extramarital affair. Even when people readily acknowledge that their marriage or relationship is unsatisfying and in trouble or when they are able to admit that they suspect infidelity, the reality of a cheating spouse is usually too much to bear.
Because having to accept that one may be married to a cheating spouse is painful and unacceptable, most will choose to overlook some very obvious signs of a cheating spouse. Sadly, once the infidelity is discovered, people generally feel angry at their own ignorance in not recognizing the signs of a cheating spouse.
If your relationship is not what it used to be and you are beginning to feel that you are no longer as important to your spouse as you once were, you may want to familiarize yourself with the following list of the 10 signs of a cheating spouse:
Your spouse does not share his or her day with you - he or she seems more closed and distant.
There are changes in your spouse’s working schedule - either starting earlier, ending later or has new demands such as dinners, late meetings etc.
Your spouse has taken up new interests and/or hobbies that are surprisingly uncharacteristic of him or her.
Your spouse has taken a sudden interest in his or her appearance - new and different types of clothing, hairstyle or weightloss.
Your spouse has started to use or has changed his or her perfume/after shave.
Your spouse leaves the room to receive calls on his or her cell phone.
When you walk by your spouse while he or she is on the computer, the program window is immediately change or closed.
Your spouse has begun the habit of showering immediately upon coming home.
Your spouse is evasive when asked about his or her whereabouts and/or activities during the day - your spouse provides vague responses explaining why he or she is late.
Your spouse has become uncharacteristically argumentative or critical with no apparent cause such as work, financial or health stressors.
While any of these signs is not necessarily a sure sign that your spouse is cheating, when they occur in clusters (i.e., more than three), it should alert you to the possibility that he or she may be having an extramarital affair. It simply means that you should be sharing your concerns with your spouse and talking about what is lacking in the relationship. The bottom line is - strong, healthy and satisfying relationships are never at risk for infidelity.